Happy Hour Coach®: Starting from a Place of Past Reflection

Posted January 11, 2021

We’re often told that we have to know and assess where we ARE to know where we want to go. And while this is oftentimes TRUE, how do we burst into a New Year with a sense of promise and excitement for “fresh beginnings” when 2020 presented so many challenges for most of us? Whether we experienced 2020 (or any other year) as overwhelming, hopeless, or confusing, or a time for personal reflection, an opportunity to pivot, or a push to learn a new skill set (or, more likely, a mishmash of all of these things and more), it’s time to close the door on what was and to lean into what IS and what CAN BE. What do I want it to be moving forward?

But how can you look backwards to a time that wasn’t ideal and use what you’ve learned to look forward? Do we HAVE to reflect and assess? Or can we just accept and acknowledge what we’ve experienced, and choose to put one foot in front of the other to step into the New Year from a place of moving TOWARDS something as opposed to running AWAY.

This quote that I read today by Dan Millman seemed to really touch on what I was feeling about moving FROM 2020 INTO 2021 in a way that I could really celebrate and embrace and get excited about, in light of all that has happened in the past 12 months.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new”. Or not trying to “fix” what was, but “create” what will be. And that is not to say you can’t honor your past experience that you are coming from.  The question is how can you honor your past experience, yet not let it stop you from living and moving forward and dreaming about what lies ahead?

Rather than reflecting or assessing where we are or what has happened, sometimes, it’s simply enough to just ACKNOWLEDGE what a tough year you’ve had and then VALIDATE that your feelings surrounding the tough year you’ve had are PERFECTLY NORMAL and that anyone would feel the way you do after the year you’ve had. Say it to yourself out loud, with compassion. Try it. “Yep, Wow, what a rough year 2020 was for me. There’s no question about it. And after the year I’ve experienced, it’s not surprising that I feel disappointed and upset. And that’s ok.” And sit with it. Cry about it if that’s what feels right. And then move forward. There will be waves when those painful thoughts resurface. That’s normal and ok. Sit with them again, and you can always be moving towards something new.

And, when you’re ready…….decide what you want THIS YEAR to look like. Stop fighting and start building. No one can predict what this next year holds, but you can commit to choosing how YOU decide to show up in it. You. Choose.

2021 holds promise and new beginnings for anyone who wants it and is brave enough to step toward it.

Explore more about our Happy Hour Coach® service at https://ressmeyerpartners.com/2022/services/happy-hour-coach/.

– Kerri Ressmeyer, ACC, CPC

Kerri is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) where she is accredited at the Associate Certified Coach (ACC) level and is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) from iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) and is a Certified Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner (ELI-MP).