Author Archive

Happy New Year!

Posted January 6, 2022
New Year 2022

I want to congratulate you on your resilience in the face of volatility and uncertainty this past year.

We often take for granted our value and the things that make us amazing. We put our heads down and get through the hard stuff and we don’t always see how fantastic we are during the good stuff. 

I encourage you to take a minute and acknowledge that the past 2 years have been objectively difficult. Whether you’ve navigated a career transition, coped with the loss of a loved one, discovered how you want to thrive, lent a helping hand or reached out to someone for support – you’ve done so at an incredibly challenging time! Don’t ignore the things YOU did to make that happen and to get where you are right now. 

I’m fortunate enough to have been able to spend part of the holiday with family in Tucson, Arizona. My sister and I spent lots of time talking about and reflecting on past jobs, friendships, relationships, challenges we’ve faced, etc. In a moment talking about an uncomfortable experience – one that would be easy to brush aside and move on from – I (semi-jokingly) said, “we honor the past in this house!” 

It was a joke because 1. it wasn’t my house, and 2. confronting the past can be hard and uncomfortable! It can be so easy to turn our back on hard times, but when we do, we lose sight of the experiences that make us who we are. This has turned from a running joke to a running mantra. By accepting, loving, and forgiving (honoring) our past challenges, we create space to grow and to move forward as our own, unique selves. 

There will continue to be much out of our control in 2022. In the moments of overwhelm, frustration, and toleration, I invite you to acknowledge the challenges, and remember the strength, resilience, and creativity that got you here.

As we step into the new year, we have an opportunity to press pause and think about where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’d like to go. I offer some questions below to help guide new year reflection.

If you’re a current client, feel free to bring your discoveries into your next session! If you’re not, our doors at Ressmeyer Partners are always open for partnership!

Whatever comes next, you’ve got this.




What was the best thing about the past 6 months?

What was the biggest challenge?

How was life in the realms of work, relationships, finances, health, community, and home?


What are a few things, big or small, that bring satisfaction in my life right now?

What things are most important to me in my life right now?

Is there anything that feels missing in my life right now?


How would I like things to be 90 days from now in the realms of work, relationships, money, health, community, and home?

How could I create one or two goals from these desires?

On December 31, 2022, if you’re reflecting on the past year, what would you like to say you’re most proud of? 

Happy Hour Coach®: Starting from a Place of Past Reflection

Posted January 11, 2021

Past ReflectionWe’re often told that we have to know and assess where we ARE to know where we want to go. And while this is oftentimes TRUE, how do we burst into a New Year with a sense of promise and excitement for “fresh beginnings” when 2020 presented so many challenges for most of us? Whether we experienced 2020 (or any other year) as overwhelming, hopeless, or confusing, or a time for personal reflection, an opportunity to pivot, or a push to learn a new skill set (or, more likely, a mishmash of all of these things and more), it’s time to close the door on what was and to lean into what IS and what CAN BE. What do I want it to be moving forward?

But how can you look backwards to a time that wasn’t ideal and use what you’ve learned to look forward? Do we HAVE to reflect and assess? Or can we just accept and acknowledge what we’ve experienced, and choose to put one foot in front of the other to step into the New Year from a place of moving TOWARDS something as opposed to running AWAY.

This quote that I read today by Dan Millman seemed to really touch on what I was feeling about moving FROM 2020 INTO 2021 in a way that I could really celebrate and embrace and get excited about, in light of all that has happened in the past 12 months.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new”. Or not trying to “fix” what was, but “create” what will be. And that is not to say you can’t honor your past experience that you are coming from.  The question is how can you honor your past experience, yet not let it stop you from living and moving forward and dreaming about what lies ahead?

Rather than reflecting or assessing where we are or what has happened, sometimes, it’s simply enough to just ACKNOWLEDGE what a tough year you’ve had and then VALIDATE that your feelings surrounding the tough year you’ve had are PERFECTLY NORMAL and that anyone would feel the way you do after the year you’ve had. Say it to yourself out loud, with compassion. Try it. “Yep, Wow, what a rough year 2020 was for me. There’s no question about it. And after the year I’ve experienced, it’s not surprising that I feel disappointed and upset. And that’s ok.” And sit with it. Cry about it if that’s what feels right. And then move forward. There will be waves when those painful thoughts resurface. That’s normal and ok. Sit with them again, and you can always be moving towards something new.

And, when you’re ready…….decide what you want THIS YEAR to look like. Stop fighting and start building. No one can predict what this next year holds, but you can commit to choosing how YOU decide to show up in it. You. Choose.

2021 holds promise and new beginnings for anyone who wants it and is brave enough to step toward it.

Explore more about our Happy Hour Coach® service at

– Kerri Ressmeyer, ACC, CPC

Kerri is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) where she is accredited at the Associate Certified Coach (ACC) level and is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) from iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) and is a Certified Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner (ELI-MP).

Taking Control of Your Future: Lessons from a 93 Year Old

Posted February 11, 2020

90sI recently wrote the blog Your 50s Are Your Magic Years!  The premise is there are lots of people in that age group struggling to figure out how to plan for what’s next. I offered a framework to reinforce that they have many gifts to offer and suggested how to take control and move forward with confidence.

I received comments from a lot of folks agreeing with me and also pointing out that people of all ages struggle with the same challenges of being happy, successful, and fulfilled. It’s not just limited to those in their 50s. I wholeheartedly agree!

The most remarkable response came when someone called me and said, “Tim, I want you to be my coach. Can you help me?”

He is 93-years-old.

I have known this man for much of my life but had not seen or spoken with him for over 30 years. I was stunned he was reaching out.

“Why do you want a coach?” I asked.

“Well, I’ve never had a coach, but I think you can help me,” he responded.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t think I have any value anymore.”

It felt like a punch to the gut.

No value? This guy is a very successful professional who positively impacted the lives of thousands of people throughout his career – including mine. Even as he got older, he never quit working. He told me he “failed at retirement three times.” He was always urged back into service by those who knew what he had to offer.

Things were now difficult for him. He really couldn’t work anymore. He described to me his near blindness, difficulty walking, other health problems, difficulty doing things outside of the house, and several other real challenges.

Through conversations about value, he began to discover ways he does make a difference and deliver value. He also admitted there were things he was not doing that he wanted to, things that would improve both his health and day-to-day feelings of significance.

We meet via phone twice each month, and he updates me on the goals that he established for himself. As his coach, I hold him accountable for those things he wants to do.

His list has included such goals as:

  • Asking his wife to load more books he can listen to on his computer.
  • Using his walker 20-minutes each day to maintain mobility.
  • Consulting with his pastor about the best ways to deliver a virtual ministry for the elderly.
  • Making regular phone calls to longtime friends to stay connected with the people in his life he cares about.

And, one of the most exciting goals was when he decided he wanted to create his own “Personal Board of Directors.” He had done this throughout his career to make sure he was always surrounded by people who he could learn from, solve problems with, and share his wisdom and expertise. However, this time, he reached out to his four young-adult grandsons to be part of this group. He invited each of them to be part of this, and they enthusiastically accepted.

They’ll be meeting monthly. He will lead the Zoom calls using the three powerful questions he used throughout his consulting career: “What is going well? What are you worried about? What would you like to do more of?”

I asked him, “What value will you get out of this project with your grandsons?”

“I will be able to stay better in touch with younger folks and learn from them. I can be sure to stay connected to my family in another way. I know there are struggles they face, and I’m sure there are things I can help them with because of my age and experience.”

It sounds to me like he has quite a bit of value.

This man is taking hold of his life and not sitting back with a “we’ll see” mindset. He recognized he needed something, sought help, and is taking action to move forward even with the genuine challenges he faces.

The 90’s can be your magic years as well.

Why Change Can Be Powerful!

Posted November 12, 2019

Change Can Be PowerfulAre you like many people who shudder at the word “change”? Do you tell yourself and others “I’m just not good with change”? Change can evoke emotions like uncertainty and fear. It’s understandable to be resistant to change.

But, the reality is that The Only Constant in Life is Change. It happens. It’s there – whether we choose it or it chooses us. How we react to it can have a tremendous effect on the outcome of any given situation.

What if you were able to approach change with a different and more powerful mind set? What if you were able to embrace change and even look forward to it? What would be different for you? For those around you?

The dictionary defines change as: the act or instance of making or becoming different. Is that really so scary? Each of us is currently in the process of life and as we experience new things, meet new people, learn new life or career skills…..we are changing. We are becoming different. And in most cases, a better version of ourselves can emerge on the other side!

What if you chose to see change as an OPPORTUNITY? You see, the real way we experience change is how we choose to experience it. What if you thought about it as the opportunity to decide who you want to be? In that moment AND moving forward? A step in the process of your becoming? How would you feel about ANY change if you truly believed that if you put as much energy into leaning into the change as you previously put into swirling in fear – that the outcome would be an improved you and the circumstances surrounding you? Change can be powerful and transformational and cathartic and it can set you on an exciting new path to self-discovery, or more fulfillment, or more success in whatever you choose to do.

Have you ever heard the saying “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got”? The most successful leaders in history have not only embraced change, but created change because they understood that the only way we can truly live is if we grow and we cannot grow without change.

Are you ready to change your relationship with change? Are you ready to change your resistance to change??? Are you ready to stop playing small and start living your life as large as you’d like?

  1. Take a breath.
  2. Ask yourself – “what is the worst thing that could happen?”
  3. Ask yourself – “how likely is that to happen and what if it did?”
  4. You’ll find the answer isn’t as scary as you thought it was.
  5. Take the leap, embrace it, learn about yourself in the process, choose who you want to be.
  6. Repeat.

Every time you exercise your new habit, you’re creating a new reality of how you roll with change and you’ll find out, pretty quickly, that you’ve got this. And you might even love it.

Kerri Ressmeyer is an executive leadership and life coach with 30 years’ of professional leadership experience in the hospitality industry. Through 1:1 coaching, she helps clients align their passions and values to find a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment both professionally and personally.  



Your 50s are Your Magic Years!

Posted October 1, 2019

50 year oldHi,

Turning 50 is a big deal. What I’ve learned through my coaching – and my personal experience – is the entire 50s decade is a bigger deal. I believe it’s a magical time for leaders who want to figure out what is next.

Many of my initial calls with clients go something like this:

I’ve been successful, but I’m not sure I love what I’m doing anymore or that I want to keep going on the path I’m on. I don’t know what I want to do, and I don’t know how to figure it out. I do know I want to be happier.

More often than not, they are in their 50s (or late 40’s and looking ahead!).

What is really exciting is that as the conversation continues, I hear them shift from being scared or lost to being inspired and motivated to chart a course for the next phase of their life.

If you are in this age group, you have so much going for you:

  • You are still young. Yup. You can potentially live another 40 years. Life isn’t over by a long shot.
  • You have experience. And a lot of it. Whether you have been on a single career trajectory or had many careers, you have (gulp) over 30-years of experience. That’s a lot to build on as you look ahead.
  • You have not only survived, you have thrived. Tenacity, grit, resilience – whatever you want to call it – has been baked into your experience. You have more of it than you think and it will serve you well.
  • You have honed a bunch of skills. You are likely a continuous learner, and have the opportunityto use the runway you have ahead of you to discover new skills while leveraging what you already know.

Nonetheless, there are things getting in your way of gaining the clarity you want. Money, relationships, confidence, passion, etc. are all muddled at this point in time. That’s normal.

It doesn’t mean quitting your current job and doing something dramatically different – although that has been known to happen – it’s about making a plan to start now to gain control of your future.

The good news is there is a way forward!

If this resonates with you, send me an email, share your story, and let me know what’s going on.

If you’re interested in digging deeper into what’s next for you, consider working with me in a very powerful way to gain control and create the lifestyle you want to live.

I work with serious high achievers who want to work hard and invest in themselves to create the future they desire.

I offer three options:

  1. A 12-month, one-on-one coaching program. It includes in-person coaching at the start, middle and end. Scheduled monthly virtual sessions, and unlimited email and text communication are provided throughout the engagement.
  2. A 6-month, one-on-one coaching program. It includes in-person coaching at the start. Scheduled monthly virtual sessions, and unlimited email and text communication are provided throughout the engagement.
  3. A monthly subscription program. We meet together virtually a predetermined number of times each month. We start with a three-month commitment, and the engagement continues indefinitely until your plan is in place or your goals are achieved.

This is not a “follow these 5 steps to happiness” program. It takes a commitment on your part to dig deep to uncover and remove obstacles getting in the way of moving to your next phase. We will chart a course forward together, and I support you throughout the plan.

Don’t leave your greatness on the table! I look forward to hearing from you.



Kickstarting Your Own Onboarding: How to Get Started in a New Role

Posted July 24, 2019

Adult at ComputerI recently wrote another article for Burtch Works’ blog. It is the second part of a two-part series on successful onboarding. Part One examined best practices for companies onboarding new employees. In Part Two, I examine how employees can take charge of their side of the process.

Read the article

Reinvention v. Version Development: Ressmeyer Partners 2.0

Posted June 18, 2019

Reinvention v Version DevelopmentI don’t like the term reinvention with respect to career or life changes. It makes it harder than it needs to be. One definition is to invent again or anew, especially without knowing that the invention already exists. You are starting over unaware that you already have what it takes to seek the happiness, success, and fulfillment you feel you want right now. That makes it harder than it needs to be, and can lead you to not even wanting to try.

Let’s use the ubiquitous “number-dot-o” language instead. We all know when there’s a release of Version 2.0 or 3.0 of an app or program, and we expect it to deliver even more usefulness or cool new bells and whistles. We are excited about it!

The prior learning and experience of Version 1.0 has not been thrown out. The company didn’t reinvent the app. They built on the successes while trimming out the things that didn’t work as well in order to achieve impact in the future.

Your Next Steps

When you are unhappy with your current situation or know you can be or do more, think first of your strengths and successes and aspire and dream for what life would be like if you are living and working every day doing what you love and what you are good at (my definition of passion).

This fear of knowing how to create change for yourself is hard for everyone, including successful leaders. When you have invested so much time into a seemingly single path it’s difficult to know who or what you would be without it.

Don’t try too hard to start from scratch. Get out of your own way. Get out of your own head. You have what it takes to create the 2.0 (or 3.0 or 4.0) version of yourself!

Practicing What We Preach

Ressmeyer Partners is a great example of version development. We are moving into iteration 2.0. Kerri Ressmeyer has left her 30-year career in the restaurant industry to bring those skills and gifts as a Partner in the company. She is building on her leadership and management experience by becoming a Certified Professional Coach.

Six years since founding Ressmeyer Partners, I am continuing to develop coaching expertise with additional training in the areas of neuroscience and deep personal coaching. I will be working with fewer clients in more intensive, transformational year-long engagements.

Another change that is a part of our transformation is our location. Chicago-based for years, we are moving the headquarters to Asheville, North Carolina. The individual client engagements and 1:1 coaching are already primarily done by phone so little will change there. Workshops, corporate engagements, and 1:1 intensive coaching are done in person at the client sites, and Asheville has a great airport; there will just be a stop or two along the way. The new version will also include the opportunity it create innovative new offerings including retreats and travel-based enrichment events.

Remember, we don’t only face change, we create change. Take charge of what your next version will look like!

Contact Tim or Kerri for more information about these changes and anything else that is piquing your interest.

My Home Life is Killing Me at Work – and Vice Versa

Posted April 4, 2019

Home Life WorkIt’s hard to do it all.

It’s hard to be your best at work when things are hard at home. It’s hard to be your best at home when things are hard at home.

Carol (C-Suite Exec): “I’m thinking about taking this new job. I’m ok in my current job, but the money in this new one is great.”

Coach: “How will that impact your family?”

“I haven’t told my husband I’m even considering the new job.”

“Why not?”

“We’ve always struggled to talk about financial stuff and other big moves.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know. Balancing both our careers, the kids, where we live, who makes more money, and such have always been topics that are hard for us to tackle.”

“How has this played out in the past.”

“Sometimes either one of us have moved down the path alone, and it’s too late to turn back and we just cave. Other times I’ve just looked away from opportunities because I can’t see how we would have productive conversations. I’ll probably do that in this case.”

“What would you like it to be like?

“I’d like to have the confidence to bring it up, and to have a plan for how to navigate these tough conversations. Once we talk about it, it’s typically ok. I just put off having the conversations and it stresses me out.”


James (Business Owner): “Revenue has been down, projections for the new year aren’t good, the Board is all over us, and we have to lay off a bunch of employees in a couple of weeks.

Coach: “That’s a tough spot to be in. No one enjoys that. What are the biggest challenges you see in making those cuts and communicating it to the company?”

“I just have to go ahead and do it, but I’m really stressed and don’t know if I have the energy to handle it well.”

“How come?”

“Things at home have been exhausting and I’m always drained. I’m not spending enough time thinking about the work stuff.”

“What’s going on at home right now?”

“We had to move my dad into a full-time memory care center a couple weeks ago. Mom is struggling with the decision. At the same time we’re trying to get him adjusted, we have to make sure she is doing ok and is able to get to see him. Every time I bring her home from a visit it’s an emotionally devastating for everyone involved.”

“How’s that impacting your wife?”

“She’s super stressed too. And, because of that, I haven’t even told her how bad things are at work. I can’t talk to her about work, and I can’t tell people at the office what’s going on at home. I have to make sure after all these layoffs are made that me and the company are in a good place. I don’t want anyone to think I’m distracted by the personal stuff.”


This is the reality of being a senior leader. You have a big role and you are human being and a wife, husband, partner, son, daughter, parent, friend, uncle, etc. When you are at the top of the pyramid you don’t have a lot of people to talk to. And you have to be in control of your world personally and professionally.

And it is exhausting.

There are four ways you can find ways to strengthen both parts of your life.

  1. Uncover and align with your core values.

You are typically unhappy with your job or relationships if there is misalignment with your core values. Take time to discover your values, ask yourself how aligned are you with them, and then commit to the steps to honor those values.

Let’s say communication is one of Carol’s core values, and she is really good at it when at work. That’s how she has risen to the top of her company and is in high demand elsewhere. Unfortunately she is not living up to that value at home. The result is a great deal of stress and an inability to discuss important situations with her husband.

Family is certainly one of James’ core values. He cares deeply for his parents and is trying to do the best he can in a difficult situation. His connection with his wife, however, is suffering. He is assuming she can’t handle anything more and therefore is withholding the stress he has at work. He doesn’t need for her to fix anything, but by sharing what is going on he can at least benefit from the support from someone who cares.

  1. Create, Repair, Lean Into relationships with your closest circle of support.

Carol and her husband have work to do to overcome the inability to communicate. It’s time to break old patterns. James is afraid to share his work pressure with his wife. In both cases there is a reality that things are hard, as well as a missed opportunity to gain support from those who care for you the most. It might take professional help (see #4 below) and it can also get started by discovering new ways of communicating around challenging topics.

How is it working for you currently? If the answer is, “not so good” it’s time to mix it up.

  1. Don’t make work your only source of identity.

A recent article in the Atlantic describes how work is no longer just a necessity for successful college-educated leaders, but has become “a kind of religion, promising identity, transcendence, and community.” The result is working more hours and having less satisfaction. Historically the wealthiest worked less and had a life of leisure. Now, they are workaholics and despite the money are unhappy.

Be intentional about finding those other things that give meaning to your life outside of the your title or role. Exercise, engaging with churches or civic organizations, volunteering, committing to hobbies, taking time off, travel, giving your family your full attention, etc. are all ways to help develop a holistic view of you and how you fit into the world.

  1. Seek and commit to the professional support you need.

The three points above are great in theory, and are hard to execute, especially if you’re trying to do it alone.

Finding a counselor or therapist will help when there are addiction problems (drinking, gambling), concerns about depression, grief, marital problems, etc. With their professional expertise they will be able to help you understand and address the challenges and offer direction during the challenging times.

Find a coach. The presence and ROI of coaches in the C-suite continues to grow. Coaches help with creating personal awareness, setting goals, taking action, and the accountability to make things happen. It’s tough going through these challenges alone. A coach is that independent third party not connected to the outcome who can hear everything that’s going on without judgment and help support and assist with a plan forward.

Life is complicated and there are so many stressors we encounter. As a professional you have high expectations for yourself as do others. Personally, you have responsibilities and challenges as well. So much of what you do is going well. Find the strategy and support to address those things that are holding you back from being who you want to be.

Tim Ressmeyer is a professional leadership and life coach. He is also the author of The Impact of Confidence: 7 Secrets of Success for the Human Side of Leadership (2018). Available on Amazon.

Article Featured in Burtch Works Blog

Posted March 20, 2019

Burtch WorksBurtch Works, a market research recruiting company, recently featured one of my articles in their blog. Entitled “Onboarding Best Practices: Setting Up New Employees & Leaders for Success”, the article provides insight into the on boarding process and six critical steps for onboarding new employees and leaders.

“For both the leadership team and the new leader, onboarding is too often a missed opportunity. Too much is left to chance, the fragmented process is spread across too many parts of the organization, and there is not enough focus on the individual in question. Too much emphasis is on company structure and systems, and not enough on strengths and success.”

Click here to read the full article.

You Can’t Fix Idiot

Posted March 14, 2019

You Can't Fix Idiot“He’s and idiot.” “She doesn’t get it.” “He’s such a slacker.”  Leaders are not immune from saying such things, hearing them from their team, and allowing them to inform their management decisions.

You can’t fix idiot.

Labeling someone – using judgment terms – is easy when team members are making mistakes or not living up to expectations. What does idiot or slacker really mean? If someone gets labeled as such, it’s actually impossible to work with them to fix the problem. Still worse is if a team or company perpetuates such labeling, you have created an atmosphere of negativity and judgement without a culture in place to address very real problems.

Why do you consider Brian an idiot? Is it because he embarrassed himself and the company at a client meeting? Is it because he wrote an email to a prospective client and misrepresented the cost of the project? Is it because he was at a conference, got drunk and missed the early meeting the next day? Anyone could legitimately say Brian is an idiot. But how helpful is that?

Labeling Brian doesn’t solve the problem. If everyone just thinks of Brian in this way without addressing the underlying behaviors he is likely to carry a stigma that impacts his effectiveness and will likely repeat the behaviors.

Look at the behaviors, not the person.

Brian is an idiot. Isolate the behaviors that Brian exhibited that embarrassed himself in front of the client. Here are some things that can be focused on:

  • Had he prepared content adequately?
  • Did he understand his role in the meeting?
  • Did he have the confidence to speak up when appropriate, and shut up when necessary?

These are all skills that can be addressed through coaching, training, and supervision.

What are the causes of his unfortunate email?

  • Did he research the client’s need and communicate internally to get the right price?
  • Does he manage his time effectively so he’s not sending out important information at the last minute that is subject to errors?
  • Does he cave in to client pressure and compromise pricing intentionally?

The ways to address the problem at the conference should be pretty obvious.

Each of these behaviors that result in the “idiot” label have underlying skills that can be taught to bring about better outcomes if  leaders are willing to step in and address it rather than perpetuating the label.

Linda is a slacker. Look for the behaviors that can be addressed:

  • She doesn’t show up to the office as early as everyone else. Why is this a problem and how can this be addressed?
  • Reports she delivers are often late. How can she be coached or trained to hit deadlines?
  • She doesn’t step up and take on new assignments. How can she understand the impact of her not raising her hand, and what can be done about it?

A culture that revolves around labels of judgment is one of negativity, blame, and shaming. Work to create a constructive atmosphere by looking at the underlying behaviors that have created that label, then work to address them professionally.

Tim Ressmeyer is a professional leadership and life coach. He is also the author of The Impact of Confidence: 7 Secrets of Success for the Human Side of Leadership (2018). Available on Amazon.